HER ROOM short film

“her room“

blackness...

Danny (os)

Oh Jesus Christ that smell again!

FADE in Title: “her room”

SOUND of FOOTSTEPS...

SOUND of a closet DOOR OPENING...

SOUND of a NOSE SNIFFING...

Fade out title

Danny (os)

You smell that? Oh, that’s just rank!

Fade In:

INt. Danny’s apartment – day

Danny walks to the front door and fans it open and closed.

Danny

What kind of disgusting warthog leaves that kind of disgusting warthog smell?

Martin

What?

Danny

You don’t smell that? I’ve tracked it down to the closet.

Martin

Cleaning time?

Danny

I don’t think so. It’s oozing down from that ceiling crack. That new neighbor must have a foul litter box or rotting dead animal or maybe... she’s a witch.

Martin SNIFFS. Nothing.

Danny

You don’t smell that?

Then, there she is – GORGEOUS – SHANNON at the door which Danny still bellows open and closed.

She inhales a drag from her cigarette.

shannon

Hi.

Danny

Hi!

Martin

Hi!

Shannon

I’m having a party tonight. Stop by.

They look at one another with raised eyebrows as she goes.

ext. shannon ’s apartment – night

Danny is about to knock when she opens the door.

Shannon

You made it!

Martin looks around. The place is spotlessly clean. The walls are painted a pure white and rooms are decorated in modern upscale urban. Inside a party is in process.

Martin

( a little too loud)

Looks alright to me.

She gives him a strange look then turns to go in. Danny twitches his nose.

Shannon ’s bathroom

Danny looks through cabinets under the sink as Martin sprays perfume bottle after perfume bottle.

Martin

Bad here?

Danny

Bad everywhere.

ext. Shannon ’s bathroom – night

They come out and bump into a PARTY GIRL who gives them a strange quizzical look then goes in.

Danny

Forget it. She’s mine. I even smelled her first.

Martin

Well very nice.

Walking amidst the party they move to the...

Kitchen

Danny

We’ll find it.

Martin

At least I don’t think she smells.

Danny

You really don’t?

Martin

NO!

Danny pokes his head into the refrigerator.

Martin gives him a look: “Worse there?”

Danny sighs and shakes his head: “Horrible everywhere.”

They walk into the...

livingroom

And, completely oblivious to anyone who might think it a bit strange, they do a search of the couch.

Danny

Well, she’s my neighbor.

Martin

All the more reason to back off. Don’t .... in your own backyard.

Danny

That may not hurt things-

( taps his nose)

....wise.

Martin

Olfactory.

Danny

Whatever.

Martin picks an old cigarette butt out of the couch and puts it up to Danny’s nose. Danny gives him a look: “what the hell are you doing?”

Rack focus in on Shannon who watches them with a little smile. Suddenly they’re very self-conscious.

Bedroom

Now at her closet they open the door and climb in.

Martin

( a plea more than a command)

Just back off.

Danny

No, you back off!

On all fours they look through the closet. Clothing. Lingerie. Nothing dead though.

Danny

Rock, paper, scissors?

Martin

Rock, paper, scissors.

Then...

Shannon walks up.

Shannon

Danny?

Danny smiles. He’s won and they both know it.

Then after she passes he twitches his nose.

LivingRoom

Shannon and Danny dance. With a twirl her hair fills the frame and when it clears we see they are now in the...

black box (to be used for all following fantasy sequences)

Where they continue the dance, now slower, more sultry and sexual. A mating dance.

ext. Biotek Complex courtyard – day

Danny goes into one of several three story structures which surround an ultra modern 25 story mirrored glass building.

int. Lab – day

Danny comes in looking like a lost little boy and Martin, so deep in experiment, barely pays him much notice.

Danny

You’ve gotta help me out here.

Martin

Shannon ?

Danny

Yeah.

Martin

What’s wrong? She too aloof of a conundrum for you?

Danny

( weary, helpless)

Shut up.

Martin

Well, what do you want me to do?

Danny

I don’t know.

Martin

This happens to be a biochemistry lab. We have important biochemistry discoveries to make. The biggest conundrums. Most aloof enigmas.

Danny

What’s wrong? She too big of an enigma for you?

For once, Martin is speechless...

Danny

Look - I can’t even sleep over her place and her at my place isn’t even much better. It’s been all open air restaurants and the beach. The beach is good. Lots of wind. Wind is good. That’s the only place we do it. That’s the only place we can do it. She’s in the mood - I stop her - We do the drive. The hour drive. All the time. Every time. And, she thinks I’m romantic. Too romantic. Oh, and did you hear? Winter’s coming! Winter.

Martin

Ok, ok, ok... Can’t you just tell her? Maybe... feminine problem?

Danny

That’s not it! How can I tell her? Should I tell her?

Martin

Winter’s coming.

A geeky LAB GUYS walk up.

LAb guy

What’s going on?

Martin

He’s having problems with Shannon .

Lab Guy

Shannon ?

Martin hands Lab Guy a picture of Shannon . More LAB WORKERS gather around and stare at it.

Lab guy

Can we keep this?

ext. Danny/shannon’s apartment – day

Distressed, both Danny and Shannon come out of their apartments. (Danny’s the bottom, Shannon the top). They meet in the middle of the stairs and sit.

An uncomfortable silence then hesitation. Is he going to tell her? Does she know? When...

... The uncertainty organically gives way to play.

Danny

God I love you.

Shannon

Likewise.

int. Shannon ’s bedroom/living room – day

Shannon rushes around frantically in a deep nicotine fit. Even when she has a fit she’s lovely and adorable.

While in the...

Bathroom

Danny pushes a perfume bottles to the back of a cabinet.

Shannon

I can’t believe I’m completely out!

Danny

Yeah.

She ramshackles cabinets in a feverish pitch.

Shannon

I knew I had an emergency pack here somewhere!

She’s really about to lose it when in the...

kitchen

Danny

Uh baby...

He puts a cigarette carton on the counter as she comes running in.

Shannon

Thank God!

Danny

They were just right here under your nose. Oh, and here’s your perfume too...

ECU, slow mo. of a wood match strike then it lighting a cigarette. Red embers and smoke.

ECU, slow mo. of a perfume atomizer spraying.

ECU of Danny scratching his twitching nose.

fade out

SOUND of a spray can SHAKEN.

SOUND of SPRAY from the can.

Fade in:

int. Danny’s livingroom – night

Danny’s apartment has turned into a mausoleum of burning scented candles, several vases of flowers, in various states of decay, and numerous billowing sticks of incense.

Danny wears a HEAVY coat and walks around spraying air freshener. He sits to light another stick of incense when...

Martin stands in the OPEN doorway.

Martin

It’s winter.

All of the windows are open as well but when he tries to close one Danny stops him.

Danny

Hey! Don’t touch that!

He gets up and walks with Martin in tow.

martin

I’ve come to think about your little problem.

Danny

( it’s about fucking time)

How kind of you.

Danny walks to the...

bathroom

And Martin follows as he sprays. In the bathroom his bottle runs out but Danny picks up another and starts spraying.

Martin

That’s hairspray.

Danny

Scented.

Martin

Well not just me, we-

Danny

We?

Martin

We’re talking Shannon in the lab.

Martin hands Danny a requisition order.

Danny

What’s this.

Martin

What we need. Shannon . Shannon ’s all the talk, actually. Major Rx-appeal.

Danny

A requisition order?

Martin collects air samples into little glass bottles which make a vacuum WOOSH when he quickly opens then closes them.

As he does the gas survey he checks locations corresponding to that sample number off a clipboard list (closet, toilet bowl, bedroom, refrigerator, oven, etc.).

Danny reads the requisition order and follows Martin around the apartment as the scientist busily retrieves samples.

Danny

Ok, I don’t think this is a good idea anymore. I can deal.

Martin

It must be some unique chemistry of cigarette smoke, perfume and her natural bodily secretions. My idea to include secretions into the spectrum.

Danny

You’re really creeping me out here.

Martin

The Mass-Spec will tell all.

Danny

( reading)

Ok forget it I’m not giving you a pair of her panties.

Martin

Smoke, perfume, secretions, but, there may be a black box ingredient as well.

Danny

Let’s just stop the secretion stuff.

Martin

Seriously. Mold in clothing?

Danny

She’s very tidy.

Martin

Dry cleaning chemicals.

Danny

And very natural.

Martin

Well... something...

Danny

I don’t know.

Martin

And we may never need to. We’re theorizing synergistic effectuation.

Danny

English please.

Martin

Remove any smell-ement, even just the cig smoke or perfume, and you will hypothetically interrupt the synergistic cascade.

( off his look)

She won’t smell bad to you anymore.

Danny puts in nose plugs that stick out ridiculously.

Danny

Every kinda cigarette?

Martin

We don’t know yet.

Danny

Every perfume?

Martin

We just don’t know.

Danny gives him a look: “what good are you?” as Martin holds out his hand.

Martin

Her domicile next. Keys?

int. perfume shop – day

Danny

This one looks nice.

Shannon takes a bottle he’s picked up about to spray herself when RING. Danny’s cell phone.

Martin

( on phone)

Every scent!

Danny blocks the spray with his hand and looks away in pain.

ext. pet shop – day

They look in at a kitty in the window.

Shannon

Oh my God! How cute. What do you think?

Danny

( a fearful apology)

A cat.

Shannon

( she taps his nose)

I know.

Danny

Pit stop.

She gives him a forgiving pat as he walks off to the...

int. commercial bathroom – day

He steps up a URINAL when...

Martin comes up from behind and shoves a disposable container into the urinal as he unzips.

Maarin

We’ll need you to fill this.

Danny

Oh! Jesus!

Martin

Research on Shannon is going exceedingly well. We’ve synthesized a beta.

Danny

Beta?

Martin

A probable active Shannon synergy. Here. I wanted to get this to you to test right away.

Martin hands him a small plastic vial of liquid.

Danny

So this stuff works?

Martin

Probably.

Danny

It better. My first time sleeping over was my last. It’s becoming an issue.

Danny opens it. It smells nice.

Danny

Nothing.

Martin

Nothing?

Danny

It smells like flowers. And smoke.

Martin

That’s how Shannon smells.

Danny

That’s how Shannon smells?

Martin

Just give each nostril a deep shot. That should saturate your receptors.

Danny puts the spray up to his nostril.

Martin

Wait.

ext. Shannon ’s apartment – night

With a pillow under his arm he knocks then gives himself two strong shots and almost faints.

She opens the door and grabs his pillow.

Shannon

You’re sleeping over! Finally!

He leans against the door jam, arches his back and takes a big inhalation then smiles! Smells ok!

int. Shannon ’s bedroom – night

As she sleeps he looks up at the ceiling – AWAKE

fade out

int. lab – day

On a couch, Danny sleeps against loud LAB SOUNDS.

An enthusiastic Lab Guy runs past Martin who works busily on an experiment.

Lab guy

One hundred and two injections! Beta-Shannanol rats looking good! Some moderate diarrhea. Zero fatalities.

Martin

Excellent.

Slow FADE IN during Lab Guy’s line as Danny wakes up.

Danny

It didn’t work. You said it would work.

Martin

Probably work. Not surprising. Research is very... comme ci comme ça. Sleep well?-

Danny

Comme ci comme ça! It made things worse!

But now something outside distracts Danny and he dreamily stares off...

Danny

Now I can’t even sleep in my own bed...

And sees the 25 story building outside that bears a huge glass billboard ad of Shannon which covers a whole facade. “SHANNANOL ©®” is written in bold 20 foot Arial.

Danny

What the hell is that?!

Martin

Things are going great buddy! We’re almost there!

Danny

You are?

Martin

A cure is on the way!

Danny

It is?

Martin

We’ve even elucidated the stubborn and might I say verging on mysterious “black box”.

Danny

( really hopeful now)

We have?

Martin (os)

It’s quite a complicated pathway, especially thorny for the lay mind to grasp, but we now know that when Shannon exhales a drag and we now know it can be any brand...

CU of Shannon who takes a drag and blows black smoke.

Martin (Os)

It delicately deliciously mingles with her own natural bodily secretions.

Danny (Os)

Ok, look!

Along her nude thigh the black smoke travels then mixes with her natural scent and turns blue.

Martin (os)

This then ever so gently combines with her perfume. Again, any scent seems to do the trick.

Along the nape of her neck the blue smoke travels then mixes with her perfume and turns to green smoke.

Martin (os)

Finally the black box comes into the picture. You little devil.

Danny (os)

Huh?

Martin (os)

With your little cat and mouse game.

Danny (os)

Who?

Now along Danny’s nude thigh the blue smoke travels and mixes with his natural scent. The blue smoke turns pink.

Martin

You! You are the black box!

The pink smoke travels into Danny’s nose. The nose twitches.

Danny

( awestruck)

Wow.

Martin

Here.

He hands Danny a sheet of paper.

Danny

What?

Martin

Shannon ’s appointment.

Danny

What?

Martin

And booking for the three day hospital stay. We’ll need all bi-lateral fluids. Bile, spinal, cerebral. Whole panel-

Danny

What!? No. Stop. Stop this right here!

Martin

Well, we can’t stop now. You just can’t stop progress and you certainly can’t stop evolution.

Danny

stop.

Martin

And, we couldn’t just stop even if we wanted to. We’ve just completed the series of sub-Q rats and we have fifty Rhesus Monkeys on order being prepped.

Danny

Stop!

Martin

It’s not like it’s not a nice room. It’s actually a very nice room and not far down the hall from the monkeys. And she wont be uncomfortable.

The Lab Guy plucks a hair from the back of Danny’s head.

Danny

OUCH!

Lab Guy

DNA

Martin

No, not in the slightest. In fact quite relaxed. She’ll have three restful days of IV drip type four sedation while we plumb for our fluids, spinal tap, tissue samples and of course the biopsy.

Danny looks at him totally speechless and awestruck.

Martin

What? You thinking more... medically induced coma?

ECU: Danny’s mouth.

Danny

STOP!!!

Which causes a reverberation throughout the room.

A lit Bunsen burner spontaneously EXTINGUISHES.

A dialysis bag opens and WATERFALLS bile over the lab bench and onto the floor.

POP! A test tube EXPLODES.

THEN!!!

Quiet. They look around. Was that it? Appears so. Sighs of relief…

THEN!!!

A RUMBELING!!!

They take off...

int. stairwell – day

And sprint down the stairwell and...

ext. biotek courtyard complex – day

Danny

RUN!!!

Martin hesitates but Danny pulls him and they run!

FOLLOWED by the huge glass Shannon picture which fractures and crumbles forming a huge glass-fragment avalanche which chases them down!!!

Barely missing the wrath of the glass storm, they dive for cover under a table, their hands splayed on the top.

After the dust settles they look up and raise their hands almost in a subconscious surrender gesture leaving ghost hand prints in the finely ground glass on the table top.